I cannot be the only person who sees this destructive boulder rolling all across the map of the US.
Matt Lauer had sex at the Democratic National Convention and... we're supposed to be mad about that?
Tavis Smiley is accused of having sexual relationships with coworkers who CONSENTED but ... we're supposed to be mad about that?
Men are losing their jobs... not for rape or sexual assault, at least not in the "physical definition." Men are being defamed and losing jobs and connections for flirtations, for consensual sex, for making sexual desires known.
THIS IS NOT HELPING ANYBODY: not women, not girls, not men, not boys, and it's damn sure not helping people who are actually raped and/or assaulted.
Feminists will say, "But outing this conduct teaches men and boys that their unwanted sexual expression will be punished."
No, Here is what it actually teaches.
it teaches men and boys to be afraid of interacting with women. It teaches girls and women to fear their own sexual desires for men and tells us that it's "bad" for a man to want you. Tells us that even consensual sex can be "rape."
Let's look at another example: Russell Simmons
A woman who accused him said his driver went to Simmons' house instead of hers and that Simmons said, "Come on up."
she agreed and had sex with him that night. She didn't try to leave. She didn't say No. She went along with it all. That was until... the #MeToo campaign told her that was rape.
No it the hell wasn't. She had the right to leave the situation, if she really wanted to. LADIES, REGRETTING A PAST SEXUAL ENCOUNTER ... DOES... NOT... MAKE... IT... RAPE
no more than you can blame Macy's for you spending $200 when you meant to only buy one pair of shoes for $50.
There are REAL SEXUAL ABUSE SURVIVORS WHO NEED OUR PROTECTION.
Rose McGowan and several others say they were raped. That is where the focus should be. Not diluted into this sea of madness where even consensual sex is being rebranded. "Hey girls, if you regret a previous sexual encounter, just twist the story and say you felt pressured and magically you too can can call it rape and rid yourself of the regret."
Yea, tell that to your creditors after you run up a $5000 balance of purchases,
"You know I was pressured by Macy's and Best Buy so I can't be responsible for my purchases."
Don't tell women they are so damn helpless that they can't WALK AWAY. Don't tell us that we can't pick up a phone and call a damn cab if the man decides to be a jackass and won't bring us home.
Feminism claims that women need to be "given agency" to make independent choices. No, my love, you MUST ASSERT AGENCY. All the world has to do is RESPECT IT.
MEANWHILE IN THE US, most victims of rape remain unprotected and without justice
ChIldren are trapped in SEX TRAFFICKING all over the US
People are being raped and are afraid to come forward.
Many Men and women are assaulted in our nation's jails and prisons.
and among these celebrity accusations, there are only a handful of those accused who actually raped someone.
But how in the hell are the sufferers of assault to receive justice, when all the energy and time is spread out so thin?
Not to mention...
the vitality of our sex lives is being threatened, as men are hesitant to approach women they are interested in. and that will be in PART 2
(original image can be found at this LINK)
Nobody wants a dirty and stinky meal to taste.
It’s time for a special edition of the Good versus Bad Sex discussion. Parts 1 to 4 were supposed to be the end of that series but I realized I left a very important element. After all, you can choose the best partner, make the most of the time you have, be creative, and all of that and in the end… it’s just like your food:
The touch and the smell are the centerpiece of the entire experience.
LADIES AND GENTLEMAN
Eat ginger. Fresh ginger root. Just a small piece a few days a week will set your system right. Drink half a glass of water with it.
Now keep reading for more details.
But wait… I hear you. Some of you are saying you notice a smell and it bothers you.
You need more water, garlic, ginger, mint leaves, lemons and honey.
If you consume these things every week, your system will automatically have a gentler and sweeter smell, because these foods nurture your body’s natural cleaning system.
AND THAT’S IT.
LADIES AND GENTLEMAN. Feel free to add perfumes and oils, moisturize your skin, create a map of good smells and sensations all over your body. But don’t forget to do ALL THE TIPS I gave above.
Nobody wants a dirty and stinky meal to taste.
It would be incredibly hard to describe because it's a kaleidoscopic type of feeling that brings together sensations that are: physical, emotional, mental, and perhaps more.
"Soul sex" is like mixing all possible flavors into one dish: The sweet, the spicy, the bitter, and the sour.
Why should you even try it out?
If you have to convince someone to be open to it, chances are they won't be able to go there.
"Soul Sex" can only happen if everyone involved is open to it. It requires your guards to be down and for you to give in totally to letting the feeling and sexual connection take over.
You should try it because it feels f***ing amazing and for couples who want to heal each other and empower each other through sex, THIS is how you do it.
Here's what the "bull shit talk" is
It's the dialogue that society has taught you: men only need to bust one as fast as possible, Your performance is based on how many times your partner cums, it's gotta be nasty to be good, He only wants the booty anyway, so don't worry about the rest.
Here's the problem:
this dialogue is not the truth of most sexual encounters. It's great to be nasty sometimes, and to see how many times you can make the other person climax. Great. But that's ALL PHYSICAL and doesn't make "Soul sex" more or less likely. You can still do all of that with soul sex IF you let it get there.
Be Open Mother F***er.
Rub on each other. Kiss on each other. Bond long before sex happens.
While you're grocery shopping, walking across a parking lot, eating at a restaurant, playing a sport at the park... etc. Touch, play, SEDUCE each other.
While Step 1 got the barriers down, Step 2 warmed up the engines.
It's all about the Play.
Here's the most common reason people never get "soul sex"
They rush to the climax.
Sex is like any activity or meal. If you rush through it, it's never as great as if you savored and sampled and INDULGED in every piece of the experience.
Slow down baby you're going too fast.
STOP AND EXPLORE.
Explore the way kisses and touches feel on each part of your body and his or hers.
Let the feeling linger. Pay attention to his or her reaction before moving on to another area.
Have sex while watching a movie or playing that board game I mentioned earlier.
Let the sex be a full part of your time together.
DO NOT RESERVE IT FOR "AFTER" Let it intertwine with your time together that whole day or evening.
And that's how it gets there.
Once that warmth is built up and the sex is more of a central connecting point, instead of just this "after thought at the end."
You connect much deeper and all that physical climax you get is AMPLIFIED as you both are empowered and released mentally and spiritually.
You become a center for connection and pleasure and renewed strength to bring forward into every part of life.
And DO NOT UNDER PLAY THE "AFTER PLAY"
Read under this mage for more on the "after play"
Pause, touch, lay there, caress each other.
The "after play" moves the energy of the climaxes and release all over the body through the nervous system.
Simply touches across each other's body will always move that flow of endorphins, adrenaline, and all the rest throughout your body.
Your touch is a SIGNAL to your body to move these things around. If you don't signal it, your body will hold that rush into one region only and that's why climax is usually not felt as powerfully by everyone as it should be.
UPDATE: I've decided to give you all a holiday gift: a part to this series about teasing your partner with the freshest playground.
This is for all you active-sensual-play-partners. You’ve had sex at least once if not too many times to count, and you think you should do what… most of the time wait until dark and get in the bed to connect? Go through the usual motions that you’ve done 100 times before?
(if you have not had sex yet with the person you’re interested in, then Click HERE to read Part 3 about timing the first time just right)
That’s the muh-fuggin problem right there with any couple who says they got bored at some point. If you don’t want to get bored OR if you already feel bored, here’s something you might not realize
Both of you. Because it takes 2 unfocused lovers to get bored.
What do I mean? Well, Love it’s just like with any human connection, if you make it fun, then it’s gonna be fun.
Real talk: Choose one of the following to compare your view of a long term partner to.
a) ball and chain
b) roller coaster ride
c) a responsibility
d) a source of energy
e) counsel and protection
f) a burden and nuisance
If you chose a, c, and/or f, then you either have a really messed up relationship already, OR your perspective on relationships is F*ed up totally.
If you chose b… ehh… this could be fun or scary, depending on which direction you took with the answer.
BUT if you chose d and/or e, then you’ve got the right idea. Your partner should be that vector point you always return to for peace, pleasure, and passion. You two should see each other as the fun outtake in your daily life. It should be a pleasure to get home or to get face-to-face with each other because you know THIS PERSON will understand you and warm your day up.
So FIRST STEP is having the right outlook and attitude toward each other.
SECOND, is actually relaxing with each other and keeping A BOND. Comb her hair, get the clippers out and give him a lining, take turns giving each other shoulder rubs while watching a movie, play a trivia game or video game or basketball together, cook together, etc.
No need to do this every day, BUT without a doubt, your daily routine should be a SHARED experience on some level.
THIRD STEP – be flirtatious and sensual as a habit. As with EVERY THING if you start doing something on a regular basis, it becomes second nature. So if you really want great sex it HAS TO BE mixed in with moments like this in between.
As long as you keep this habit going, the random spontaneous sex with just happen BUT remember, being physical and SENSUAL does not have to wait until you can get totally X-rated. Play around a little PG-13 in general public and get a little R-rated in places like bars or spots where no one is likely to notice or care.
Here’s some suggestions Love. Make your Relationship the playful, energizing, connection you always wanted and deserved.
Kitchens, Bathrooms, At the Park, On the Street, At a Grocery Store… the world is a lover’s playground. Take advantage !!!
Don't forget to come back next Sunday for the HOLIDAY SPECIAL: Turning your body and there's into a dessert of natural organic pleasure.
All the moan-worthy opportunities come with… time… HA.
This post is about the first time, BUT Part 4 will be about all the following times with that same partner. (Click HERE for Part 4 if you’ve already had your first time with your current partner)
Now let’s get into the juicy advice…
If she doesn’t trust you, she won’t be truly open for you.
Some people feel the timing of the first sexual encounter is very important while others feel it isn’t a factor. What do I think?
As in most cases (me being a Gemini and all LOL) I am somewhere on both sides of this debate.
On the one hand, I do believe there is a best time to choose to first have sex with a new partner, BUT when that is, depends on the couple and how one IMPORTANT THING develops.
That important thing is INTIMACY
Intimacy doesn’t happen at the same pace for any person or couple. And do not get the definition confused. Intimacy is not physical in this discussion. You need social and experience based intimacy, as in spending time together, developing a bond and closeness. It’s the same reason that many businesses and organizations have team-building exercises; people work better together and are closer when they SHARE EXPERIENCES.
This means that one couple might already have a deep and meaningful friendship before they start dating and choose to have sex after the first date. But NOTE the adjectives I used for this: deep and meaningful.
This means not just your boy or your girl that chilled with the crew at all times and yall know each other. For this deep type of friendship, you two have to have a proven “down for each other at all times” sort of friendship. That proven we share every secret with each other and have proven we care for each other beyond anything surface level.
That’s the kind of friendship that might not need any extended dating period before the romance turns sexual.
On the other side of this, the couples who barely know each other should have what I call INTENTIONAL DATES, before having sex. That is if you see potential in a committed relationship and you really want it to be great.
HOW TO INTENTIONALLY DATE AND WHY?
Intentional dates allow for connection to be built. The time spent and the energy placed on the time together has to be for the sole purpose of CONNECTING AS A COUPLE. This cannot be aimed at getting the booty, ya feel me?
Intentional dating is to be started when you truly want to build something and while your mind will probably wonder onto his/her body and those fantasies at times, when developing a bond, remember that the connection will make the sex sooooooo much better AND
you are laying the foundation for what will be the life of this relationship.
Not to mention,
a more connected couple will have the following SEXUAL BENEFITS as well:
an easier time pleasing each other because you’ll be more in tune with communicating verbally and through body language.
both will be more invested in pleasing the other, because this person isn’t a distant nonentity to you, but a real and worthy person to give pleasure to.
Plus both of you will be more at ease and open since you have an established trust-level. This is important for everyone, but we recognize that women need this trust level established even more in our society considering how much we stand to lose each time we open our bodies to a partner.
If she doesn’t trust you, she won’t be truly open for you.
In other words, the timing of a first sexual encounter can be explosive in so many moan-worthy ways.
How do you keep it moan-worthy long after the first time? Come back next week for Part 4 - the Finale to find out
Who you f***ing? LOL.
Hey a crude way to start this off but… i bet you laughed a little.
So why is PARTNER SELECTION important?
If all you want is a quick unfulfilling rushed climax, then it’s not important.
BUT if you really want great sex, then it’s completely important and indispensable for you to choose well AND TO PACE YOUR PROGRESSION TO FIRST SEXUAL EXPERIENCE TOGETHER.
But for now… what do I think you need to pay attention to when choosing whom to lay with?
Let’s start with the most obvious: Have you and they been tested for HIV and Herpes and HPV?
This should go without saying: Get a damn lab report and show each other your statuses. Even condoms break BUT ALSO Herpes and HPV do not need genital connection to be transmitted. Oral contact and skin-to-skin contact can transmit these and NO you don’t need a break out to transmit it.
It literally scares the f*** outta me, how many grown ass people I know that have never been tested OR that sleep with others with no protection and don’t bother getting the lab report.
Get the lab report, use condoms, and play safely dammit.
Next: Do they give a f*** about who you are and how you’re living?
the reality is we are undoubtedly influenced by the energies of those we spend time with and even moreso those we lay with. You ever noticed how when you are surrounded by negative people who don’t care about you, you feel drained or cynical? Then when you are around supportive and genuine people, you feel lifted?
It’s the same with sexual partners, and maybe even moreso. This goes for men and women, though men are less likely to admit it or pay attention to their overall sense of well-being on this level.
I’m sure if you’ve had more than a few partners, you’ve noticed a difference in the energy of your mental state afterward. If not you should really try developing a higher level of intimacy and closeness with a partner before having sex with them to understand the benefits.
If you don’t start doing this, you will NEVER have the highest level of sexual pleasure. Yea, you’ll think you have, but Love any one who’s gone there with someone can tell you, you have NO IDEA.
Final Question to Ask: What kinda past baggage and trauma are they carrying in their spirit?
Just like having people around you who don’t really care about you, having negative mentally f***ed up people around you drains your energy and depletes your experience. And on a spiritual level, sex leads to the swapping of spiritual energies, just as much as bodily fluids. So yea, you can also get your spirit sick without proper “protections.”
When it comes to sex, a wounded or traumatized person cannot sync up with you and enjoy it fully and neither can you.
On the other hand, let’s say you have some decent sex with this wounded person, chances are there will be some sort of drama or discomfort or at least something will happen during or some time in the months following that will throw you for a loop.
It’s just safer overall to get clarity on what they’ve recently dealt with and any long term trauma they’re still impacted by before you connect with them.
IN OTHER WORDS: Have you gotten the Carfax Report on your lover before you connected sexually?
STDs, Do they give a f*** about you, What kind of mechanical malfunctions do they have? Will they leave you stranded on the side of the road, lose a tire and run you off into a ditch?
Part 3 goes a step further and talks about the timing of the first sexual encounter : Why that matters and how that practice can be used to stimulate GREAT SEX for the long term as well.
We are weakened alone but of course don’t actually recognize how weakened we are until a tragedy strikes.
Being aware of what you need doesn’t make you needy. Being brave enough to seek love doesn’t mean you aren’t afraid of being hurt. And no, writing this does not mean I am seeking a relationship in an immediate sense. I’m just reflecting on modern dating and modern needs as we continue to strive for progress.
I”m simply courageous enough to admit I am stronger when supported by a partner.
In this generation, there are some who have life partners, some who want one, and those who say… they don’t. Among those that don’t, a very small few are actually going to be content an entire life alone, with occasional temporary lovers.
To the rest…
I feel grief for the many who’ve adopted the idea that solo movement is their best option. Those who deny the need for a nurturer, who refuse to unite with another in commitment.
Are you not stronger after the genuine affection of another?
Are you not uplifted by their encouraging words and knowing that when you need to express grief they are there to support your moment of trouble?
But some have convinced themselves that living without another is preferable, yet still seek out affection from someone they trust. When their needs, physical, emotional and spiritual become too much to bear… they reach for their phone… send a message … and hope.
And if that lover says, “I won’t be your occasional Bandaid for a need that we BOTH have daily. We are neglected.” they seem surprised and some have even said, “Well I don’t really want a relationship…”
BUT you want your lover’s healing energy on a regular basis, as long as it doesn’t have that “relationship” label. Meanwhile some others seek out the healing only on occasion.
We are weakened alone but of course don’t actually recognize how weakened we are until a tragedy strikes.
Then we reach out in desperation… but THAT is what a LIFE PARTNER is for. To allow you to BUILD a BOND with someone that will BE PRESENT for you. Someone who will not be a “maybe” but a solid “Yes. I got you.”
Say what you want while you walk the present path of comfort. But remember every company has to be fully staffed in order to succeed. Every company will hit its challenges. And if you wait until the struggle to seek out a partner to meet the need, WHO IS GOING TO BE WILLING to step in during your time of great struggle? Who?
If you didn’t BUILD TRUST with them prior to the struggle, why would they ever feel comfortable being basically used like that?
Some of us have bought the lie that we no longer need a partner simply because we can now earn a wage and don’t have to hunt and grow our own food. How foolish are we to believe that modern conveniences have removed our need for union and support of a committed other.
I hate to disappoint, but this isn’t about whether or not your partner is satisfied with your performance.
This is about something a little different: Empowerment of self
Now, how does sex lead to self-empowerment? This is about to get interesting.
Hindus and Buddhists have long taught about the importance of the root chakra. For those not familiar, the Charkras are the spiritual epicenters of every human. Even some biologists have identified the importance of the nervous system related to the locations of the chakras, so there’s even science to support this.
Each of the chakras is important to overall physical health, which supports the idea of the mind-body or spirit-to-body connection.
But this post is all about the ROOT CHAKRA. It’s the root dammit. If the root of a plant is sick or damaged, the whole plant is weakened.
So that means, the SEX you have is a major factor in setting your whole life right.
BUT LOOK AT HOW OFTEN WE PLAY AT SEX.
Some people consume porn way too much, some people run through sexual partners without much consideration, even some in committed relationships half-ass the sex they have completely OBLIVIOUS of how important SEX-QUALITY is, not just for the powerful pleasure you are being denied, but also the health benefits that sex can give.
I’m not trying to tell you what to do. F*** who you want.
Do what you want with consensual partners. BUT if you want to try an experience that will give you a high AND make you the best lover to others, as well as inspire their greatest performance for your benefit… then KEEP READING this post and the other posts in this series.
Don’t freak out. You know you masturbate. Start there.
After you release, try this. Slide your fingertips and fingernails over your abdomen, your thighs and your arms and hands.Next slide your fingertips across your neck and face.
You will literally feel the energy of your climax move across your body. If not, are you sure you climaxed? If you didn’t, try again.
But notice that rush of a sensation and the healing feeling you got from that!!! When a person climaxes, there is a rush of hormones that are healing for the body. Climax literally EXERCISES your hormone system. The system that LITERALLY manages all of your body’s functions, from kidneys to heart, to digestive, to immunity… ALL OF IT.
By moving your hands over your body after a climax, you are moving those hormones and the sensations around, LITERALLY CLEARING away the path and keeping things flowing smoothly.
Not to mention… it just feels GOOD.
Now, the next time you are with your partner and they climax, do this to them. And have them to the same to you.
If you climax very near together in time, you’ll both be high on it, but that makes it even more fun to move that energy between you.
If you two are still physically “attached” LOL, then stay that way and do this…
move your hands around each other simultaneously. Even an atheist who does not believe in “spirit” will feel the biological benefits, so indulge in this together.
In part 2, we’ll talk about “partner selection” but I wanted to start with this one because it’s a fun thing to test out
2 words that have caused so much confusion in recent years:
emotional and narcissistic.
Men and women have thrown these words at each other like 5 year old kids locked in battle.
“You did it!”
“No uh huh you did it!”
While there are a few people in this world that may be uncommonly emotional OR narcissistic, the reality is BOTH of these words are used WAY TOO OFTEN and WRONGLY used by people when the definitions don’t even fit the situation.
Don’t deny that you have either thrown out these 2 words at least once OR something VERY similar.
Why do people use words like this?
Simple. To stop the argument, to halt the discussion entirely, to say “I won’t hear you because you’re too “emotional” or “narcissistic.”
Some Men say women are acting out of emotion and therefore their statements are invalid.
Some Women say men are simply too narcissistic or selfish to understand or consider their viewpoint.
AND THAT’S THE PROBLEM
Both parties have already decided that the other person is NOT worth listening to. Both have decided that being “right” is more important than … the… relationship. Or the potential relationship if one has not “officially” started yet.
So in short, when the frustration level starts to rise up:
Stop, Drop, and Roll
Stop speaking for a minute
Drop off into your own space for a few minutes and cool your ass off
Then Roll both your asses back together and start off by saying “We want US as a team first and foremost and all the rest, don’t matter, as long as we are not harming each other or preventing each other’s progress.”
After all, if you’re a harm or a block to each other, why would you be together anyway? If that’s not the case, if you two have the POTENTIAL to build each other up and be stronger,
Come back to center and agree to set aside what really doesn’t matter and focus on what does: both of your health, your progress, your connection, and your home.
Let’s keep this short, Fellas.
If you need a workout and your boy says, “Hey man, meet me at the gym.”
You think to yourself, “Cool I’m gonna workout and my boy can keep me motivated and shit.” After all, you are going to the “gym,” right???
Then you get to the gym, and all he does is talk and play on his phone, and take pictures in the mirror and posts them to Instagram and Snapchat, and you look around like “WTF”
Yea you can work out alone but all this time he keeps distracting you with other shit, and you’re really not getting what you EXPECTED from it.
Then let’s say that your sister calls you to have dinner and she says she was gonna cook one of your favorite meals.
But when you arrive, she gets you to fix her sink, change some light bulbs and then she gives you cold bologna sandwiches, and says, “Nah, I was too tired to cook.”
See that right there is about the SAME PROBLEM: Not what you EXPECTED.
In the 1st situation, the environment and request to go to the gym gave you every indication that you’d “workout” but then didn’t. In the 2nd situation, you were told one thing and then after giving what you agreed to, your sister DID NOT give what she agreed to before you got there.
THIS right here is what frustrates TF out of women, especially 30 and over.
A woman in her 20s is still living in what I call the “romantic comedy” phase of dating.
She thinks things will always somehow “work out” even if the man is not really setting expectations loud and clear. She thinks, “Oh we’ll be all cute and fuck some times and he’ll fall in love and it’ll be great.”
So when that doesn’t happen, she develops into the 30 and over woman who says, “Look here bruh, tell me what this is NOW at the start so I can make my choice WITH KNOWLEDGE.
If all you wanna do is get some booty,
YOU are going to stay on my back burner and I’ll call you when I need to heat up once in a while. No I will not be available to you in the middle of the night. No I will not rub your back. No I will not hold space for you in my weekly schedule.
If you wanna get to know me and build something,
then love I will make space for you, I will treat you to the 3 star level treatment, and IF AND ONLY IF this goes to a mutually beneficially relationship will you get UPGRADED to that 5 star deluxe suite.
That’s all women really want from you.
Say what this is and DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT expect that deep level of attention if you aint even ready to invest in that upper level.
Got the KEY? Let me see.
Author: Jessica Bordelon
Passionate, powerful, & gentle, she is an artist that captures the strength , power & energy of femininity in its purest form.