Do you know a needy person who is perpetually single? Then please share Dr. Nerd Love's advice below.
I’ve omitted content because I really want you to read his article to get the full message.
From Dr Nerd Love:
Neediness and clinginess are among the most unattractive traits a person can have. We have an almost instinctive repulsion to needy behavior. Consider the “ha-ha-but-no-seriously” humor of the “overly attached girlfriend” meme… (omitted content)
… And believe me: men are especially vulnerable to needy behavior.
Don’t get me wrong: I’m not saying desiring a relationship with someone is bad in and of itself. We’re social creatures.
However, there’s wanting to connect with someone and there’s becoming dependent on them. When that hunger for connection goes from desire to neediness, we end up … (omitted content) Neediness Is Built On Fear
The first step to eliminating neediness in your relationships is to understand what triggers needy, clingy behavior in the first place. At its core, the cause of neediness is, simply, fear. The fear of abandonment. The fear of uncertainty. The fear of loss or rejection. The fear of being alone. We want that connection so badly that the idea of missing out on it – or losing it – makes us anxious. The simple state of being alone becomes … (omitted content)
And so needy, clingy behavior becomes the norm; it’s a way of retaking the power we don’t have.
Once you understand that connection, needy behavior makes much more sense. We fear
a … (omitted content)
Of course, the perverseness of this is that the tighter we cling to others, the more we end up pushing them away from us.
So how do we fix this?
To find the answer, click HERE and read the rest of this juicy and powerful article by Dr. Nerd Love.
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About the series: In this series we cover different people, places and things that are in a state of "redefining," of shaking off past habits or thought processes in favor of CONSCIOUS decisions and conscious actions. Basically, this is a time of asking "why" instead of blinding complying. Then, choosing what works on a pragmatic level. Our goal is thriving and productivity. In this "episode" We cover "dating" and "committing." What's the difference and when should we commit? Definitions of the past vs. Definitions of the now Past: "Dating" was also called courting. Two people were "dating" if they went to a place together, talked, maybe ate dinner, saw a show, and maybe had a walk. "Committing" meant you agreed to only "date" that one person with the intent that you'd grow toward a marriage. TODAY Dating is more like developing friendships, and notice I said PLURAL: friendships. Most Americans have friends of both genders and spend time with everyone on a regular basis. Most men and women have a few close friends they consider as brothers and sisters almost. How dating happens is when physical attraction, flirting and physical interactions take place, and more time is spent one-on-one with a particular person. "Commitment" - well now THAT'S the central reason for this post. IN THE PAST, it was
Author: Jessica Bordelon
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