In the battle to define
what is the
Learn first before you open up your body, mind, spirit and home to connecting with another. If you haven't learned yet, you will soon enough.
You are at risk EVERY TIME you dip, slip, tip or flip.
I don't know if Usher's accuser or accusers are telling the truth or not. I'm not saying he knew or didn't know before interacting with them about his own health stats.
That's neither here nor there because whatever happened with them is something they have to deal with.
Right now, I'm worried about the rest of us.
What's scared the crap out of me was how many people do not understand how herpes is transmitted!!! I thought it was just the teens who had never learned the ins and outs of transmission but apparently A LOT of people are not aware.
That lack of awareness is the EXACT reason this virus has spread as far as it has, and there are some of you reading this who are infected and do not even know it yet.
1 The herpes virus can survive on unbroken skin for 2 hours.
What this means is, if any semen, spit, or vaginal fluid gets on your skin, that virus will sit there and wait for your hand to get to your eye OR it'll move down to your backside and get into you there.
Well, you should be.
2 A condom will not save you.
Condoms really only protect the man's penis and the woman's vagina from direct contact. But there are fluid exchanges happening regardless. If vaginal fluids are infected and they get on the skin and drip down below, you are at risk for infection.
And gay and lesbian couples are also not safe obviously. Fluids travel no matter who you lay with.
3 Kisses and oral sex can transmit herpes.
A lot of people think if they keep it to lips only it'll be all good.
All bodily fluids can transmit herpes.
There are cases of women getting herpes from a man who only gave them oral sex. Same goes for men.
THE POINT IS
While I'd like to tell everyone to just have fun and freely enjoy their partner, I can't in good conscious do that. BEING COMMITTED AND FAITHFUL is the best way to prevent transmission.
BUT IF YOU MUST PLAY, pray or soak yourself in ANTIVIRAL SOAP after every encounter.
Or you could just do one better and only have sex with people who have that pink lab report that shows no HIV or herpes.
Live, Love, and Indulge Wisely.
#3 MIGHT BE THE WORST
What is a B.D.R.?
A B.D.R is a bad report on a man’s performance in the bed. Usually women complain if he is not creative, or ends too fast, or doesn’t know how to move, etc.
However, there are certain others who deserve a B.D.R. and possibly to be placed on the “banned list.”
#1 The one who talks too much
It is no one else’s business who you had sex with.
These are the men who get validation by telling their stories, some real, but a lot of false ones. UNLESS you ask her and she says it’s cool to speak her name in the sexual conversation, just DON’T. By all means, share your glorious feats of sexual Olympic level performance, but you don’t need to bring her up.
Interestingly, most men say if the woman was a GF or a wife, they don’t share much about their sexual moments. I get that. You don’t want people seeing your partner in those visuals. BUT THAT’S ACTUALLY YOU PROTECTING YOU AND NOT ABOUT PROTECTING HER.
If you don’t want people seeing her that way if she’s your girl, then respect that she might not want her name in your stories when she is not your girl.
SIMPLE RULE: Don’t speak it, even if you’re not trying to keep it.
#2 The smelly one
This is simple. If you stink and expect favors: Boy Bye is the only 2 words you need to hear. Some of you forget that your butt is in the same neighborhood as your pleasure pieces, and fellas, it can get real stinky down there. BE THOROUGH.
Eat clean foods. Wash your ass. Put deodorant DOWN THERE too. Yes, your sweat is having a bacteria party all day, and you act like deodorant is only made for one area. Please spread the GOOD NEWS that deodorant works on all “closed quarters” of the body.
SIMPLE RULE: Keep it neat, before we meet up.
#3 The Rude Dude
Here’s possibly the worst one. THIS ONE IS A CURRENT SOCIAL MEDIA SUPPORTED PHENOMENON.
We get it. You want to connect with the child or children of your partner. You hope to find common ground with them and you want them to also respect you as another adult in their life.
That's great and please understand this is a respectable goal.
Your efforts to do this should NEVER include the following:
1. Belittling or criticizing any thing and I mean ANYTHING the biological parent does
If the child is in the same building as you, don't do it. You can say and feel however you want when the child is not around. You are entitled to your opinions, but you are NOT entitled to dump out those opinions on the child.
This can cause confusion in the child as they navigate between both of their parent's home and rules, and can create anger and frustration or even anxiety for the child. You are NOT helping by criticizing.
2. Do not contradict ANYTHING that the biological parents expects or does.
Especially if you are the same gender as the primary caregiver, be aware, that person has put in years to sculpting this child, and if you contradict their rules or expectations, you are a negative force against that work.
Nobody likes that kid in preschool who came over and threatened to knock over your tower of blocks. Don't be that person.
So what should you do???
It's not taking the job or starting a business, it's not being a parent, or getting married.
The most important thing you can do is:
Positive self-talk is just as dangerous as Negative self-talk because either one has the potential to be FALSE. It's in the LIES we tell ourselves that we endanger our futures and hurt ourselves and others.
Consider this situation:
You've been placed on one side of a forest. The instructions say that the goal is to reach the center of the forest to locate a great treasure. It might be gold or it might be enlightenment it might be the greatest sex you've ever had, it might be a positive change to society or your family, or some other positive result that you greatly desire.
What do you do next?
Author: Jessica Bordelon
Passionate, powerful, & gentle, she is an artist that captures the strength , power & energy of femininity in its purest form.