In the battle to define
what is the
A couple of highlights of what’s to come:
- The way I measure a man’s character is how he handles the shit.
- To those who don’t choose to live like this. I’m not mad at you or disappointed. Your path is yours and you are free to do with it what you will.
“You know you’re intimidating right? That’s part of the problem. You intimidate men.”
“I’m not trying to.”
“I know but…”
Now I used to get mad when a man told me I was intimidating. After all, what kinda backwards ass, man-baby is going to be intimidated by a woman. I used to say “Oh so basically you’re saying I should lower expectations or maybe if I were more of a fuck up as a woman, you’d be less afraid of me???”
Ok ok ok… so that’s the knee jerk reaction, the “fuck you” reaction.
But now after giving it a little more thought and pausing to ask “Wait, can you
MY FRUSTRATION IS: that we all have needs. Let’ s keep it 100. Conversation, connection, affection, sex, etc.
If she’s the wife-type for you, she still has all these needs on a daily basis.
Yet several men say they delay giving time and attention to their “wife type of woman” because they feel they need to prepare for her first.
But If you are neglecting her needs, what makes you think she isn’t going to get her needs met somewhere else?
Did you ever stop to think about that?
You’re keeping her in what I call “starvation mode” while you prepare your silver platter for her.
People’s needs are NOW. They are ever-present and you are leaving your wife-type of woman neglected
So if you know she’s amazing, if you have access to her, if she wants to be near you… why are you
It was a simple question, that he called complicated. I asked it when he said, “Let’s get to this physical play time so I can take over your body and mind for a time.”
“No attitude intended. Genuine question in need of a genuine answer: Why should I open my body to you?”
“Because we both want to.”
“That’s not telling me why you should be allowed to enter me. What makes you deserving of me?”
“We don’t have to make it complicated”
“This isn’t complicated. It’s a simple question, and until you got a better answer than this, my answer is No. And I’m sure you can find plenty of women who’d love to have you do what you do.”
“But they don’t know how to take care of a lover the way you do.”
“So if you know I’m so great, you should understand it takes more than “we want to” to get my attention and to keep it.”
I pity any who’ve never known what it means to release physical limits, to stop being distracted by the simplicity of physical sensations. Those who pay attention more to “am I moving the right way? Is she feeling me? Maybe if I do this thing I saw on the TV screen… or will she do this next thing I want to see?”
So much distraction of the surface level… Sex is meant to be healing, purifying by removing the physical tensions. It’s meant to be done in full appreciation for who and what your lover is…
and to those who don’t understand I wrote this
Ode to the simple minded,
mentally binded to physical limitations, unwilling or unaware of how to float above to spiritual aspirations.
Understand that sensual pleasures reside inside physical vessels, locked away treasures, never openly demonstrated, Fall into the shadows, become captivated, it’s no need to fear being dominated,
This connection is all collaborated, if you enter with genuine intentions, this oblivion prescription, heals all wounds, rises your spirit from this physical tomb, to ascend into the next level of existence while still breathing inside of this one
Who knew sexuality could be the gateway to spirituality if the adventurers enter prepared and move forward without fear
Disclaimer: Everyone is entitled to their own sexual choices and habits. There is no right or wrong way in my opinion to express your sexuality as long as it does not harm any one, does not force any one to participate or witness, and does not involve any one under the age of 18.
Otherwise, be you. Be free. It’s your body.
BUT … within that wide range of sexual expression, there are those who are widely open to all, widely open to many, and there are those who are selective, and those who are self-restricted and limited.
The issue I am about to talk about is wrongly assessing or appraising the sexual attitude of a person AND THEN when the person explains their preferences to you, acting like it’s a problem or a surprise.
Now it’s time for the story.
He oozed sexy through his skin. He could make any woman smile just by looking in her direction. He was on that level of sexy that causes random strangers to fantasize about being taken in a heated passionate dance of honey covered love on top of tables, against walls, without any regard for who was in the room.
THAT’S how sexy he is.
So it’s no surprise that he moves a little different than most men. He’s had so many women drop their guards and their typical habits for just a chance to be WANTED by this universally sculpted powerfully magnetic essence of manhood.
THEN HE MET… the sultry, magnetic, regal woman who was often compared to Jessica Rabbit, the Phoenix, and Alicia Keys. and while she knew she was powerfully attractive to many men, she refused to use that to her advantage, recognizing that a love based on her sultry nature alone would leave her always seeking more.
But, she was no angel,
(His Internal Dialogue)
“Damn she’s… she’s EVERYTHING!”
She loves to cook she keeps me smiling, she… she gets my body so high I … it’s just ecstasy.
She has no drama. She handles her business.
I could muh… wait what?
Nooooo… huh? I just finalized my divorce. This can’t be happening right now… not now.
But why not? I mean she’s legit everything I’ve ever said I wanted.
But what if I mess it up. I don’t think I can handle another relationship ending badly… not now.
Look at her though. Come here girl.
Mmmm she smells so good and her booty is so soft against me.
I’m just gonna lay here and hold her til she gotta get up. Look how she’s looking at me. Is… Is she in…. love?
I can’t do this. I’m gonna hurt her. I need to backup but… I can’t tell her that. How do I tell her that? She’s all love… all the way sweet.
I’m… I’m just gonna fade out… and maybe she’ll understand.
(exit stage left)
Is he okay?
Hello?… Did he really just disappear out of my space? Now what the hell did I do to him?
Couldn’t have been nothing wrong. He never stopped smiling when we were together… and he was calling me almost every day.
Now it’s been a week and he hasn’t sent a message not a call, not a … nada.
He got me all the way f***ed up if he thinks I’m gonna try to reach out to him…. Old trifling ass behavior
(a few months later)
I have to say I”m sorry for how I exited. I was starting to fall and I wasn’t ready for that …I thought I’d date a few girls and then start looking for the “one.” I didn’t expect to meet someone like you that fast… so I’m sorry.
I forgive you but I don’t trust you.
Can I try to make it right?
We’ll see … but I’m dating someone else so, if it works out with him, you have no chance. Are you still willing to try?
(to be continued)
Does she hear praise from you as often as she hears about what you want to do to her body?
Let's be honest about something. The female form, especially the black and brown female form has been objectified to sell products, to create porn content, to be the sexual pleasure spot for the erotica of the minds of others.
Women have reacted in 2 ways to protect ourselves from being sexualized against our will. On the one hand, we create repression on ourselves and each other. Or on the other end of it, some women have embraced that path of sexualization to make money from.
But what about the desire to exist somewhere in the middle? to appreciate sex? to fall head first into full sexual indulgence and still be able to move freely without chastisement or judgement, without being limited to being seen and treated as that sexual figure at all times?
This is where many women exist for at least a few years in their sexual life. And thus they and their lovers can never fully appreciate the raw sexual passion and damn sure can't connect to each other during the physical act.
So gentlemen and not so gentle-dudes, here's what you can do about it:
Before we start this one, keep this in mind:
some connections cannot be permanent but are still a benefit. While others should not even start at all.
If you don’t already know, there are tremendous benefits to having a life partner: physical health, mental health, building a family, growth as a person, etc.
However, some of the chaos that happens is because of mismatched expectations or sometimes unrealistic expectations. This post is about THAT.
The first introduction was mellow and honestly boring, but there was no doubt in their minds that they were attracted… but there were no outward signs of the sparks, no touch, not even any flirtation. They were both in other partnerships at that time, so there was no reason to consider what could be.
But when it got heated was about a year later… both single… she was moving… and it started like this.
“What are you doing tonight?”
“Not much. Might go out for a drink.”
“I wanna see you.”
He paused to be certain he heard correctly.
“I’d love to see you… but where?”
They both knew in this area people would talk, and there would be drama. Not that they gave a damn about what anyone thought or said; they just didn’t want to deal with their exes calling and texting. On his end, his ex might try to keep his kid from him. They had known each other long enough, had socialized at events, talked privately and both knew the level of headache that prevented them from being together.
But the fiery attraction between them was thick and sticky glued to their minds and now that she was leaving she wanted to dive in and let it be, even if it was just for one night.
She said, “Get some drinks and come over.”
As soon as she opened her door, he pulled her ...
We have ALL seen at least one person who was a real low down using type or sociopathic type just messing over and/or using others for their own personal gain, while presenting the “I love you and I’m here for you” front.
The thing about these types is they often attack several targets along the way, leaving several jaded lovers with legit PTSD.
Here’s a couple of examples that I’ve witnessed. Yall tell me if you’ve witnessed similar.
This chick only dated men with a particular level of vehicle because as she said
He had superman tendencies, I’ll be honest. He legit saved someone’s life once right in front of me. He was never one to shy away from any challenge or danger and maybe that’s why I was drawn to him. His critics liked to call him crazy, and in all honesty there’s some truth to that, only problem is, their attacks on his character made no sense.
He would die for his kids. He would die for his family. He’d battle to protect his city state, nation, etc. He lived with that level of passion.
So what went wrong?
There are a lot of men who have at least once in their life insulted or spoke down on a woman based on something related to sex.
A man who respects you is not afraid of your power and understands his own power. So he has no need to demean or pressure you. He will accept what you offer and give to you as he receives.
But when it comes to the less evolved of the male species
… Some chastise their estimated number of partners.
Some go after what acts she’s performed even if these are acts the man also enjoys. But for some reason, given the right situation, they’ll speak on it as though enjoying that act makes her a “hoe.”
Some attack her for being too good at sex as though surely that means she’s been with many other partners, instead of just having a few and learning how to please a man during a long term commitment.
or any other way they can assault her “worth”
Some say shit like “But you’re ...
Author: Jessica Bordelon
Passionate, powerful, & gentle, she is an artist that captures the strength , power & energy of femininity in its purest form.