In the battle to define
what is the
I hate to disappoint, but this isn’t about whether or not your partner is satisfied with your performance.
This is about something a little different: Empowerment of self
Now, how does sex lead to self-empowerment? This is about to get interesting.
Hindus and Buddhists have long taught about the importance of the root chakra. For those not familiar, the Charkras are the spiritual epicenters of every human. Even some biologists have identified the importance of the nervous system related to the locations of the chakras, so there’s even science to support this.
Each of the chakras is important to overall physical health, which supports the idea of the mind-body or spirit-to-body connection.
But this post is all about the ROOT CHAKRA. It’s the root dammit. If the root of a plant is sick or damaged, the whole plant is weakened.
So that means, the SEX you have is a major factor in setting your whole life right.
BUT LOOK AT HOW OFTEN WE PLAY AT SEX.
Some people consume porn way too much, some people run through sexual partners without much consideration, even some in committed relationships half-ass the sex they have completely OBLIVIOUS of how important SEX-QUALITY is, not just for the powerful pleasure you are being denied, but also the health benefits that sex can give.
I’m not trying to tell you what to do. F*** who you want.
Do what you want with consensual partners. BUT if you want to try an experience that will give you a high AND make you the best lover to others, as well as inspire their greatest performance for your benefit… then KEEP READING this post and the other posts in this series.
Don’t freak out. You know you masturbate. Start there.
After you release, try this. Slide your fingertips and fingernails over your abdomen, your thighs and your arms and hands.Next slide your fingertips across your neck and face.
You will literally feel the energy of your climax move across your body. If not, are you sure you climaxed? If you didn’t, try again.
But notice that rush of a sensation and the healing feeling you got from that!!! When a person climaxes, there is a rush of hormones that are healing for the body. Climax literally EXERCISES your hormone system. The system that LITERALLY manages all of your body’s functions, from kidneys to heart, to digestive, to immunity… ALL OF IT.
By moving your hands over your body after a climax, you are moving those hormones and the sensations around, LITERALLY CLEARING away the path and keeping things flowing smoothly.
Not to mention… it just feels GOOD.
Now, the next time you are with your partner and they climax, do this to them. And have them to the same to you.
If you climax very near together in time, you’ll both be high on it, but that makes it even more fun to move that energy between you.
If you two are still physically “attached” LOL, then stay that way and do this…
move your hands around each other simultaneously. Even an atheist who does not believe in “spirit” will feel the biological benefits, so indulge in this together.
In part 2, we’ll talk about “partner selection” but I wanted to start with this one because it’s a fun thing to test out
2 words that have caused so much confusion in recent years:
emotional and narcissistic.
Men and women have thrown these words at each other like 5 year old kids locked in battle.
“You did it!”
“No uh huh you did it!”
While there are a few people in this world that may be uncommonly emotional OR narcissistic, the reality is BOTH of these words are used WAY TOO OFTEN and WRONGLY used by people when the definitions don’t even fit the situation.
Don’t deny that you have either thrown out these 2 words at least once OR something VERY similar.
Why do people use words like this?
Simple. To stop the argument, to halt the discussion entirely, to say “I won’t hear you because you’re too “emotional” or “narcissistic.”
Some Men say women are acting out of emotion and therefore their statements are invalid.
Some Women say men are simply too narcissistic or selfish to understand or consider their viewpoint.
AND THAT’S THE PROBLEM
Both parties have already decided that the other person is NOT worth listening to. Both have decided that being “right” is more important than … the… relationship. Or the potential relationship if one has not “officially” started yet.
So in short, when the frustration level starts to rise up:
Stop, Drop, and Roll
Stop speaking for a minute
Drop off into your own space for a few minutes and cool your ass off
Then Roll both your asses back together and start off by saying “We want US as a team first and foremost and all the rest, don’t matter, as long as we are not harming each other or preventing each other’s progress.”
After all, if you’re a harm or a block to each other, why would you be together anyway? If that’s not the case, if you two have the POTENTIAL to build each other up and be stronger,
Come back to center and agree to set aside what really doesn’t matter and focus on what does: both of your health, your progress, your connection, and your home.
Let’s keep this short, Fellas.
If you need a workout and your boy says, “Hey man, meet me at the gym.”
You think to yourself, “Cool I’m gonna workout and my boy can keep me motivated and shit.” After all, you are going to the “gym,” right???
Then you get to the gym, and all he does is talk and play on his phone, and take pictures in the mirror and posts them to Instagram and Snapchat, and you look around like “WTF”
Yea you can work out alone but all this time he keeps distracting you with other shit, and you’re really not getting what you EXPECTED from it.
Then let’s say that your sister calls you to have dinner and she says she was gonna cook one of your favorite meals.
But when you arrive, she gets you to fix her sink, change some light bulbs and then she gives you cold bologna sandwiches, and says, “Nah, I was too tired to cook.”
See that right there is about the SAME PROBLEM: Not what you EXPECTED.
In the 1st situation, the environment and request to go to the gym gave you every indication that you’d “workout” but then didn’t. In the 2nd situation, you were told one thing and then after giving what you agreed to, your sister DID NOT give what she agreed to before you got there.
THIS right here is what frustrates TF out of women, especially 30 and over.
A woman in her 20s is still living in what I call the “romantic comedy” phase of dating.
She thinks things will always somehow “work out” even if the man is not really setting expectations loud and clear. She thinks, “Oh we’ll be all cute and fuck some times and he’ll fall in love and it’ll be great.”
So when that doesn’t happen, she develops into the 30 and over woman who says, “Look here bruh, tell me what this is NOW at the start so I can make my choice WITH KNOWLEDGE.
If all you wanna do is get some booty,
YOU are going to stay on my back burner and I’ll call you when I need to heat up once in a while. No I will not be available to you in the middle of the night. No I will not rub your back. No I will not hold space for you in my weekly schedule.
If you wanna get to know me and build something,
then love I will make space for you, I will treat you to the 3 star level treatment, and IF AND ONLY IF this goes to a mutually beneficially relationship will you get UPGRADED to that 5 star deluxe suite.
That’s all women really want from you.
Say what this is and DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT expect that deep level of attention if you aint even ready to invest in that upper level.
Got the KEY? Let me see.
Getting his “stuff” wet phase and the Building a life phase
The man you are dealing with depends on which one of these is his primary focus at the time you meet him.
This phase determines EVERYTHING he does regarding you. Of course whether or not he is honest about what phase he is in, is another factor controlled by the moral code he developed before meeting you.
Some men have no morals when it comes to getting what they want from a woman during the “getting wet phase.” While others will keep it 100 with you and tell you straight that’s all they’re looking for at that time.
However, MOST MEN are somewhere in the middle of that during this phase
and will spend time with you, maybe even cook for you, but when asked what they are looking for, they will avoid giving any answer one way or the other, and say “Well I’m dating now but looking for wifey when that time comes.”
By giving you this answer, he has not lied to you. But he has also made it appear to the female mind that “Oh if we date long enough he’ll get on that level.”
You might not even be around or you might not even be interested in him any longer by the time he enters that phase, because he has no clue how long it will take either and after all, if he’s still in the “getting it wet” phase, he’s not really worried about when that change will happen any way.
SO if you agree to have sex with him, most men will at least respect you enough to treat you with basic respect and kindness, but at the end of the day, he will not be there to offer any support or encouragement beyond what it takes to… get it wet.
NOW WHAT ABOUT THE MAN WHO’S IN HIS “BUILD A LIFE” PHASE???
Well, he still has a desire to get it wet, but he also knows that he does not want to piss off a good woman who can build with him. So if he sees that quality in you, he’ll be real about it and let you know that his goal is to get to know you and see how you two work together as a pair.
That DOES NOT MEAN he’s ready right now. He may need some time to arrange some things, so in the meantime, if YOU are also in that build a life phase, be cautious about who you sleep with, keep things comfortable with you and the men of interest, and ALWAYS make it clear what you expect from every man you deal with.
and then ACCEPT NOTHING LESS than what you want.
But never be whiny or nag about any of it. Either he will or he won’t provide what you expect. And that’s okay honestly. It’s every one’s prerogative to give whatever they are willing to give, and if any one is forced they might later hold a grudge.
So be easy, keep your options open as well, and realize that a man “ready to build a life” will be looking for BUILDER qualities in you. So live YOUR DREAM and along the way MEN on that similar path will appear without your having to seek them. Because after all, you are walking in similar spaces.
BUT BEWARE LADIES, AGE IS NOT A DECIDING FACTOR ON WHAT PHASE HE IS IN.
I’ve known youjng and older men who were in both phases. Some men even revert back to the “get it wet” phase after a big breakup or divorce.
PAY ATTENTION TO HIS ACTIONS AND THE DIRECT STATEMENT OF HIS WORDS.
If he says, I want you to be my wife or I want to see if you and I would work as life partners, then yes he has already seen that quality in you and wants to seek it.
Someone playing games is much less likely to say that unless they have no morals whatsoever and at some point in their life, they will get cut by at least one female that they play like this.
Meet me at the corner of Carrollton and St. Charles
Bring daiquiris and make mine a margarita with extra salt
Meet me at the corner of vision is hazy but also clear
and somewhere in the middle of a hand on back and kiss on my forehead
Or maybe backpedal it to that space where no words are needed
just two people saying “I got you” and wanting to do more than sit inside the box being entertained by boxes, eating out of boxes …
Meet me where silence under stars is more intoxicating than silence on couches with TV sitcoms saying the same damn thing they did 10 years ago
Meet me where the energy of passion and peace intersect whether we just walk in silence, play kiss and don’t tell or dance like we don’t give a damn about the rest of the world for just a little while
Meet me where we can be free… if only for one night
Author: Jessica Bordelon
Passionate, powerful, & gentle, she is an artist that captures the strength , power & energy of femininity in its purest form.