I cannot be the only person who sees this destructive boulder rolling all across the map of the US.
Matt Lauer had sex at the Democratic National Convention and... we're supposed to be mad about that?
Tavis Smiley is accused of having sexual relationships with coworkers who CONSENTED but ... we're supposed to be mad about that?
Men are losing their jobs... not for rape or sexual assault, at least not in the "physical definition." Men are being defamed and losing jobs and connections for flirtations, for consensual sex, for making sexual desires known.
THIS IS NOT HELPING ANYBODY: not women, not girls, not men, not boys, and it's damn sure not helping people who are actually raped and/or assaulted.
Feminists will say, "But outing this conduct teaches men and boys that their unwanted sexual expression will be punished."
No, Here is what it actually teaches.
it teaches men and boys to be afraid of interacting with women. It teaches girls and women to fear their own sexual desires for men and tells us that it's "bad" for a man to want you. Tells us that even consensual sex can be "rape."
Let's look at another example: Russell Simmons
A woman who accused him said his driver went to Simmons' house instead of hers and that Simmons said, "Come on up."
she agreed and had sex with him that night. She didn't try to leave. She didn't say No. She went along with it all. That was until... the #MeToo campaign told her that was rape.
No it the hell wasn't. She had the right to leave the situation, if she really wanted to. LADIES, REGRETTING A PAST SEXUAL ENCOUNTER ... DOES... NOT... MAKE... IT... RAPE
no more than you can blame Macy's for you spending $200 when you meant to only buy one pair of shoes for $50.
There are REAL SEXUAL ABUSE SURVIVORS WHO NEED OUR PROTECTION.
Rose McGowan and several others say they were raped. That is where the focus should be. Not diluted into this sea of madness where even consensual sex is being rebranded. "Hey girls, if you regret a previous sexual encounter, just twist the story and say you felt pressured and magically you too can can call it rape and rid yourself of the regret."
Yea, tell that to your creditors after you run up a $5000 balance of purchases,
"You know I was pressured by Macy's and Best Buy so I can't be responsible for my purchases."
Don't tell women they are so damn helpless that they can't WALK AWAY. Don't tell us that we can't pick up a phone and call a damn cab if the man decides to be a jackass and won't bring us home.
Feminism claims that women need to be "given agency" to make independent choices. No, my love, you MUST ASSERT AGENCY. All the world has to do is RESPECT IT.
MEANWHILE IN THE US, most victims of rape remain unprotected and without justice
ChIldren are trapped in SEX TRAFFICKING all over the US
People are being raped and are afraid to come forward.
Many Men and women are assaulted in our nation's jails and prisons.
and among these celebrity accusations, there are only a handful of those accused who actually raped someone.
But how in the hell are the sufferers of assault to receive justice, when all the energy and time is spread out so thin?
Not to mention...
the vitality of our sex lives is being threatened, as men are hesitant to approach women they are interested in. and that will be in PART 2
(original image can be found at this LINK)
Nobody wants a dirty and stinky meal to taste.
It’s time for a special edition of the Good versus Bad Sex discussion. Parts 1 to 4 were supposed to be the end of that series but I realized I left a very important element. After all, you can choose the best partner, make the most of the time you have, be creative, and all of that and in the end… it’s just like your food:
The touch and the smell are the centerpiece of the entire experience.
LADIES AND GENTLEMAN
Eat ginger. Fresh ginger root. Just a small piece a few days a week will set your system right. Drink half a glass of water with it.
Now keep reading for more details.
But wait… I hear you. Some of you are saying you notice a smell and it bothers you.
You need more water, garlic, ginger, mint leaves, lemons and honey.
If you consume these things every week, your system will automatically have a gentler and sweeter smell, because these foods nurture your body’s natural cleaning system.
AND THAT’S IT.
LADIES AND GENTLEMAN. Feel free to add perfumes and oils, moisturize your skin, create a map of good smells and sensations all over your body. But don’t forget to do ALL THE TIPS I gave above.
Nobody wants a dirty and stinky meal to taste.
It would be incredibly hard to describe because it's a kaleidoscopic type of feeling that brings together sensations that are: physical, emotional, mental, and perhaps more.
"Soul sex" is like mixing all possible flavors into one dish: The sweet, the spicy, the bitter, and the sour.
Why should you even try it out?
If you have to convince someone to be open to it, chances are they won't be able to go there.
"Soul Sex" can only happen if everyone involved is open to it. It requires your guards to be down and for you to give in totally to letting the feeling and sexual connection take over.
You should try it because it feels f***ing amazing and for couples who want to heal each other and empower each other through sex, THIS is how you do it.
Here's what the "bull shit talk" is
It's the dialogue that society has taught you: men only need to bust one as fast as possible, Your performance is based on how many times your partner cums, it's gotta be nasty to be good, He only wants the booty anyway, so don't worry about the rest.
Here's the problem:
this dialogue is not the truth of most sexual encounters. It's great to be nasty sometimes, and to see how many times you can make the other person climax. Great. But that's ALL PHYSICAL and doesn't make "Soul sex" more or less likely. You can still do all of that with soul sex IF you let it get there.
Be Open Mother F***er.
Rub on each other. Kiss on each other. Bond long before sex happens.
While you're grocery shopping, walking across a parking lot, eating at a restaurant, playing a sport at the park... etc. Touch, play, SEDUCE each other.
While Step 1 got the barriers down, Step 2 warmed up the engines.
It's all about the Play.
Here's the most common reason people never get "soul sex"
They rush to the climax.
Sex is like any activity or meal. If you rush through it, it's never as great as if you savored and sampled and INDULGED in every piece of the experience.
Slow down baby you're going too fast.
STOP AND EXPLORE.
Explore the way kisses and touches feel on each part of your body and his or hers.
Let the feeling linger. Pay attention to his or her reaction before moving on to another area.
Have sex while watching a movie or playing that board game I mentioned earlier.
Let the sex be a full part of your time together.
DO NOT RESERVE IT FOR "AFTER" Let it intertwine with your time together that whole day or evening.
And that's how it gets there.
Once that warmth is built up and the sex is more of a central connecting point, instead of just this "after thought at the end."
You connect much deeper and all that physical climax you get is AMPLIFIED as you both are empowered and released mentally and spiritually.
You become a center for connection and pleasure and renewed strength to bring forward into every part of life.
And DO NOT UNDER PLAY THE "AFTER PLAY"
Read under this mage for more on the "after play"
Pause, touch, lay there, caress each other.
The "after play" moves the energy of the climaxes and release all over the body through the nervous system.
Simply touches across each other's body will always move that flow of endorphins, adrenaline, and all the rest throughout your body.
Your touch is a SIGNAL to your body to move these things around. If you don't signal it, your body will hold that rush into one region only and that's why climax is usually not felt as powerfully by everyone as it should be.
UPDATE: I've decided to give you all a holiday gift: a part to this series about teasing your partner with the freshest playground.
This is for all you active-sensual-play-partners. You’ve had sex at least once if not too many times to count, and you think you should do what… most of the time wait until dark and get in the bed to connect? Go through the usual motions that you’ve done 100 times before?
(if you have not had sex yet with the person you’re interested in, then Click HERE to read Part 3 about timing the first time just right)
That’s the muh-fuggin problem right there with any couple who says they got bored at some point. If you don’t want to get bored OR if you already feel bored, here’s something you might not realize
Both of you. Because it takes 2 unfocused lovers to get bored.
What do I mean? Well, Love it’s just like with any human connection, if you make it fun, then it’s gonna be fun.
Real talk: Choose one of the following to compare your view of a long term partner to.
a) ball and chain
b) roller coaster ride
c) a responsibility
d) a source of energy
e) counsel and protection
f) a burden and nuisance
If you chose a, c, and/or f, then you either have a really messed up relationship already, OR your perspective on relationships is F*ed up totally.
If you chose b… ehh… this could be fun or scary, depending on which direction you took with the answer.
BUT if you chose d and/or e, then you’ve got the right idea. Your partner should be that vector point you always return to for peace, pleasure, and passion. You two should see each other as the fun outtake in your daily life. It should be a pleasure to get home or to get face-to-face with each other because you know THIS PERSON will understand you and warm your day up.
So FIRST STEP is having the right outlook and attitude toward each other.
SECOND, is actually relaxing with each other and keeping A BOND. Comb her hair, get the clippers out and give him a lining, take turns giving each other shoulder rubs while watching a movie, play a trivia game or video game or basketball together, cook together, etc.
No need to do this every day, BUT without a doubt, your daily routine should be a SHARED experience on some level.
THIRD STEP – be flirtatious and sensual as a habit. As with EVERY THING if you start doing something on a regular basis, it becomes second nature. So if you really want great sex it HAS TO BE mixed in with moments like this in between.
As long as you keep this habit going, the random spontaneous sex with just happen BUT remember, being physical and SENSUAL does not have to wait until you can get totally X-rated. Play around a little PG-13 in general public and get a little R-rated in places like bars or spots where no one is likely to notice or care.
Here’s some suggestions Love. Make your Relationship the playful, energizing, connection you always wanted and deserved.
Kitchens, Bathrooms, At the Park, On the Street, At a Grocery Store… the world is a lover’s playground. Take advantage !!!
Don't forget to come back next Sunday for the HOLIDAY SPECIAL: Turning your body and there's into a dessert of natural organic pleasure.
All the moan-worthy opportunities come with… time… HA.
This post is about the first time, BUT Part 4 will be about all the following times with that same partner. (Click HERE for Part 4 if you’ve already had your first time with your current partner)
Now let’s get into the juicy advice…
If she doesn’t trust you, she won’t be truly open for you.
Some people feel the timing of the first sexual encounter is very important while others feel it isn’t a factor. What do I think?
As in most cases (me being a Gemini and all LOL) I am somewhere on both sides of this debate.
On the one hand, I do believe there is a best time to choose to first have sex with a new partner, BUT when that is, depends on the couple and how one IMPORTANT THING develops.
That important thing is INTIMACY
Intimacy doesn’t happen at the same pace for any person or couple. And do not get the definition confused. Intimacy is not physical in this discussion. You need social and experience based intimacy, as in spending time together, developing a bond and closeness. It’s the same reason that many businesses and organizations have team-building exercises; people work better together and are closer when they SHARE EXPERIENCES.
This means that one couple might already have a deep and meaningful friendship before they start dating and choose to have sex after the first date. But NOTE the adjectives I used for this: deep and meaningful.
This means not just your boy or your girl that chilled with the crew at all times and yall know each other. For this deep type of friendship, you two have to have a proven “down for each other at all times” sort of friendship. That proven we share every secret with each other and have proven we care for each other beyond anything surface level.
That’s the kind of friendship that might not need any extended dating period before the romance turns sexual.
On the other side of this, the couples who barely know each other should have what I call INTENTIONAL DATES, before having sex. That is if you see potential in a committed relationship and you really want it to be great.
HOW TO INTENTIONALLY DATE AND WHY?
Intentional dates allow for connection to be built. The time spent and the energy placed on the time together has to be for the sole purpose of CONNECTING AS A COUPLE. This cannot be aimed at getting the booty, ya feel me?
Intentional dating is to be started when you truly want to build something and while your mind will probably wonder onto his/her body and those fantasies at times, when developing a bond, remember that the connection will make the sex sooooooo much better AND
you are laying the foundation for what will be the life of this relationship.
Not to mention,
a more connected couple will have the following SEXUAL BENEFITS as well:
an easier time pleasing each other because you’ll be more in tune with communicating verbally and through body language.
both will be more invested in pleasing the other, because this person isn’t a distant nonentity to you, but a real and worthy person to give pleasure to.
Plus both of you will be more at ease and open since you have an established trust-level. This is important for everyone, but we recognize that women need this trust level established even more in our society considering how much we stand to lose each time we open our bodies to a partner.
If she doesn’t trust you, she won’t be truly open for you.
In other words, the timing of a first sexual encounter can be explosive in so many moan-worthy ways.
How do you keep it moan-worthy long after the first time? Come back next week for Part 4 - the Finale to find out
Who you f***ing? LOL.
Hey a crude way to start this off but… i bet you laughed a little.
So why is PARTNER SELECTION important?
If all you want is a quick unfulfilling rushed climax, then it’s not important.
BUT if you really want great sex, then it’s completely important and indispensable for you to choose well AND TO PACE YOUR PROGRESSION TO FIRST SEXUAL EXPERIENCE TOGETHER.
But for now… what do I think you need to pay attention to when choosing whom to lay with?
Let’s start with the most obvious: Have you and they been tested for HIV and Herpes and HPV?
This should go without saying: Get a damn lab report and show each other your statuses. Even condoms break BUT ALSO Herpes and HPV do not need genital connection to be transmitted. Oral contact and skin-to-skin contact can transmit these and NO you don’t need a break out to transmit it.
It literally scares the f*** outta me, how many grown ass people I know that have never been tested OR that sleep with others with no protection and don’t bother getting the lab report.
Get the lab report, use condoms, and play safely dammit.
Next: Do they give a f*** about who you are and how you’re living?
the reality is we are undoubtedly influenced by the energies of those we spend time with and even moreso those we lay with. You ever noticed how when you are surrounded by negative people who don’t care about you, you feel drained or cynical? Then when you are around supportive and genuine people, you feel lifted?
It’s the same with sexual partners, and maybe even moreso. This goes for men and women, though men are less likely to admit it or pay attention to their overall sense of well-being on this level.
I’m sure if you’ve had more than a few partners, you’ve noticed a difference in the energy of your mental state afterward. If not you should really try developing a higher level of intimacy and closeness with a partner before having sex with them to understand the benefits.
If you don’t start doing this, you will NEVER have the highest level of sexual pleasure. Yea, you’ll think you have, but Love any one who’s gone there with someone can tell you, you have NO IDEA.
Final Question to Ask: What kinda past baggage and trauma are they carrying in their spirit?
Just like having people around you who don’t really care about you, having negative mentally f***ed up people around you drains your energy and depletes your experience. And on a spiritual level, sex leads to the swapping of spiritual energies, just as much as bodily fluids. So yea, you can also get your spirit sick without proper “protections.”
When it comes to sex, a wounded or traumatized person cannot sync up with you and enjoy it fully and neither can you.
On the other hand, let’s say you have some decent sex with this wounded person, chances are there will be some sort of drama or discomfort or at least something will happen during or some time in the months following that will throw you for a loop.
It’s just safer overall to get clarity on what they’ve recently dealt with and any long term trauma they’re still impacted by before you connect with them.
IN OTHER WORDS: Have you gotten the Carfax Report on your lover before you connected sexually?
STDs, Do they give a f*** about you, What kind of mechanical malfunctions do they have? Will they leave you stranded on the side of the road, lose a tire and run you off into a ditch?
Part 3 goes a step further and talks about the timing of the first sexual encounter : Why that matters and how that practice can be used to stimulate GREAT SEX for the long term as well.
We are weakened alone but of course don’t actually recognize how weakened we are until a tragedy strikes.
Being aware of what you need doesn’t make you needy. Being brave enough to seek love doesn’t mean you aren’t afraid of being hurt. And no, writing this does not mean I am seeking a relationship in an immediate sense. I’m just reflecting on modern dating and modern needs as we continue to strive for progress.
I”m simply courageous enough to admit I am stronger when supported by a partner.
In this generation, there are some who have life partners, some who want one, and those who say… they don’t. Among those that don’t, a very small few are actually going to be content an entire life alone, with occasional temporary lovers.
To the rest…
I feel grief for the many who’ve adopted the idea that solo movement is their best option. Those who deny the need for a nurturer, who refuse to unite with another in commitment.
Are you not stronger after the genuine affection of another?
Are you not uplifted by their encouraging words and knowing that when you need to express grief they are there to support your moment of trouble?
But some have convinced themselves that living without another is preferable, yet still seek out affection from someone they trust. When their needs, physical, emotional and spiritual become too much to bear… they reach for their phone… send a message … and hope.
And if that lover says, “I won’t be your occasional Bandaid for a need that we BOTH have daily. We are neglected.” they seem surprised and some have even said, “Well I don’t really want a relationship…”
BUT you want your lover’s healing energy on a regular basis, as long as it doesn’t have that “relationship” label. Meanwhile some others seek out the healing only on occasion.
We are weakened alone but of course don’t actually recognize how weakened we are until a tragedy strikes.
Then we reach out in desperation… but THAT is what a LIFE PARTNER is for. To allow you to BUILD a BOND with someone that will BE PRESENT for you. Someone who will not be a “maybe” but a solid “Yes. I got you.”
Say what you want while you walk the present path of comfort. But remember every company has to be fully staffed in order to succeed. Every company will hit its challenges. And if you wait until the struggle to seek out a partner to meet the need, WHO IS GOING TO BE WILLING to step in during your time of great struggle? Who?
If you didn’t BUILD TRUST with them prior to the struggle, why would they ever feel comfortable being basically used like that?
Some of us have bought the lie that we no longer need a partner simply because we can now earn a wage and don’t have to hunt and grow our own food. How foolish are we to believe that modern conveniences have removed our need for union and support of a committed other.
Author: Jessica Bordelon
Passionate, powerful, & gentle, she is an artist that captures the strength , power & energy of femininity in its purest form.