In the battle to define
what is the
Be open to the possibility of the unexpected.
I recall in the film "Something New," Sanaa Lathan's character along with her friends, had decided that in their pursuit of a life partner, they would be more open to someone beyond the types they had fixated on for most of their adult life.
Any one who's seen the film, knows that Sanaa Lathan's character then meets and falls in love with a white man, who is her gardener at the new home she's purchased. Additionally, one of her friends had found a man (not of a different race than she usually preferred) but from a different career path and overall demeanor.
What both of these women discovered was that the image of their ideal had been FORMED during their teen years mostly and possibly up until the age of 21, and they had fixated on the ideal their inexperienced minds had created.
By opening up to what their more knowledgeable selves understood they were able to find SOMETHING not only new, BUT BETTER than their limited ideals would have ever given them.
So to you, LADIES AND GENTELMEN, I suggest you all do the same. OPEN UP your expectations to a broader possibility. We tend to choose what we are familiar with, and for some people, this could be the problem.
What is your typical type? Write this down or record yourself discussing the following: describe their typical physical appearance, their typical lifestyles and habits, and the typical things you enjoyed with them, and the things you didn't enjoy about them or the relationship or dating interactions.
Once you've done that, ask yourself what are the ONLY few basic necessities you need to feel safe and comfortable with a partner: physical safety, emotional safety, and economic safety. That's it. So long as they don't beat you, insult you, or make life economically a challenge by fault of their own, then otherwise, they are a good option.
All the rest of it, the way he/she dresses, the music they like, their hobbies, etc don't matter in the lifelong view of it. If they are comfortable and decently successful in their life, TAKE TIME to enjoy what they like, while still leading your life and enjoying what you do.
If they like to go to Steampunk festivals but you prefer opera, then take turns going to both. Also, why not ALLOW each other at times to go to your own things, and come home later and talk about it? Since when do couples have to always be together? That's not a necessity.
How many of us have heard the dumb expectation that your significant other is somehow neglecting you by not being just as into your hobbies as you are? ISN'T THE POINT THAT THEY ARE INTO YOU? that they are supportive of you? that they GIVE YOU FREEDOM to take part in what you love and then listen to your passions?
So be open.
That's the modern traditional message this week.
Author: Jessica Bordelon
Passionate, powerful, & gentle, she is an artist that captures the strength , power & energy of femininity in its purest form.