Is Cuffing Season a myth or a reality?
First, for those who don't know ...
Cuffing Season (n) - the time of year when cold temperatures cause some people to chase and grab on to any warm blooded human willing to give affection
Warm hugs to cold weather, is just like lemonade or iced tea in the summer. Who doesn't want to feel that soothing sensation.
But the problem comes from the temporary nature and seemingly selfish motivation behind "cuffing." For some recipients, though, there is mutual gain, while some are flat out not interested in being someone's winter time blanket and then tossed into the closet once the summer returns.
For those who are open to love, how do you know what's up in the mind of the other person? Are they a cuffer or a lover?
No matter how you feel about it, let's break it down:
What does a "cuffer" look and act like?
What does a genuine lover look like?
(But the "exes" are the easy Cuffers to spot. You know them and you know whether or not they speak to you regularly or not.
But what about the Lurker Cuffers?
Some Lurkers have noticed you before but think you are more vulnerable (especially if you're a woman) when the temperatures drop and fears of going solo to holiday parties arise.
The lurkers hit the DM with a vengeance, and offer half-ass date attempts or want to "cook for you." Ladies and gentlemen, refer to my blog post: "Just Say No To Cook Overs" where I explain what a "cook over" is really all about. (Click HERE for that post)
If this person isn't willing to put in time getting to know you and bring in a closer connection you have identified the "Lurker Cuffer"
Then there are the LOVERS.
These are the people who are genuinely interested in you and getting to know you, making you smile, and seeing where the love can go. How do you know a Cuffer from a Lover?
Here are 3 questions to ask:
#1: Have they tried to flirt or ask you out earlier in the year?
If this person has flirted and shown interest before now, there is a good chance they are genuinely interested. The ones who are nonexistent but suddenly interested are the ones to worry about.
#2: ill they "date" you or try to "nest" with you?
Dates mean going out of the house, talking, sharing, and getting to know each other. "Nesting" involves cuddling at home and spending time more on the physical comforts than building a connection.
Yes, affection is AMAZING. We all know this. But do you go around rubbing on strangers? No. Do you massage and cuddle platonic friends? No.
Because that INTIMACY HAS TO BE ESTABLISHED FIRST. One of the major issues with modern relationships and dating is that people force affection before intimacy is built.
(For the 5 easy steps to getting intimacy right: see Chapter 4 and 5 of "Modern Traditional Lady" Click HERE to get the Ebook for $3.00)
Rule #3: Are they already trying to get you to "family holiday parties" and the same of their close friends?
This is the same as #2. Why would you bring a new lover to a family function? or even to a party at your close friend's house? You have no idea how long this person will last, so why bring them near your closest connections?
This is a red flag that a "cuffer" is just using your presence to cover their single status and avoid the HOLIDAY INQUISITION. "When are you gonna get married?" "Why are you still single?"
Yea, those questions are annoying and intrusive, but if you are looking for permanent, being this person's "holiday buffer" is not going to lead to that.
On the other hand, if you two are enjoying each other's company and investing time into each other, that means both of you are in it for more than just a season. You are in it for a REASON.
And the $3.00 Ebook can be the quick guide to your new love. Click HERE to get a peek at making your Modern Traditional Lady the Lover you need.
Author: Jessica Bordelon
Passionate, powerful, & gentle, she is an artist that captures the strength , power & energy of femininity in its purest form.