When you add a person or people to your life, it changes things obviously. Most of the change is for the good, but it requires everyone involved to adapt to the new environment created. EVEN IF neither of you two have children, you still have to Get Your Mind Right.
Who needs to do this? EVERYONE. The person who has been single for a while, the person who's last relationship ended badly, the person who went through a divorce, the person who's NEVER had a relationship before.
We all have certain habits we've gotten used to and the new person won't be the same as that previous situation.
So, HOW DO YOU GET YOUR MIND RIGHT?
1. Be open. This means admitting to yourself and your significant other that you might not get everything "right" immediately BUT you are wiling to learn and show and grow a great love with them.
2. Be honest. Based on what your previous situation was, it's important to be honest when those concerns come up in your mind. If you have been cheated on, and you feel nervous about the possibility of going through that again, BE UPFRONT every time you get nervous like that, so that your significant other can address that concern.
If you've been single for a while and have become lazy about making certain accomodations for a relationship, admit that. When in a relationship, you took care of certain things because you had someone who appreciated that. When you've been single for a while, it's easy to let those things slip to the side, since no one but you was there to please.
3. Make the changes. Now that you both know where you're coming from, and what needs to happen, get to making those changes. If you're worried about infidelity, pay attention to your new partner's habits. If those habits maintain, then chances are, you're safe in trusting their committed to you. You'll have to keep reminding yourself of that. If still in doubt, ask others who know your significant other what they have heard about him/her. If all you hear are good things, then rest assured that you have someone who puts your heart ahead of any outside attention.
If you've been single for a while, or have never been in a relationship, get ready to alter some of your habits. Make space for the significant other. Treat them like a priority. Tend to those habits of care and attention to yourself that makes them excited. Dress in a way they enjoy, use perfumes or colognes that make them excited. For fellas, if your lady loves facial hair, be willing to embrace your inner rugged man and grow a little beard for her.
JUST LIKE WITH ANY GREAT THING THAT YOU WANT IN YOUR LIFE, YOU HAVE TO CREATE AN ENVIRONMENT THAT WILL ALLOW THAT TO THRIVE.
WARNING: some folks are going to tell you that you should not change anything at all. Let me ask you this: if you want success in a career or creative pursuit or in business, don't you have to "make changes?" Then why would love be any different?
Yall can' keep listening to those fools if you want, or you can try to make something beautiful that you've always dreamed of.
GET YOUR MIND RIGHT.
Author: Jessica Bordelon
Passionate, powerful, & gentle, she is an artist that captures the strength , power & energy of femininity in its purest form.