In the battle to define
what is the
Getting his “stuff” wet phase and the Building a life phase
The man you are dealing with depends on which one of these is his primary focus at the time you meet him.
This phase determines EVERYTHING he does regarding you. Of course whether or not he is honest about what phase he is in, is another factor controlled by the moral code he developed before meeting you.
Some men have no morals when it comes to getting what they want from a woman during the “getting wet phase.” While others will keep it 100 with you and tell you straight that’s all they’re looking for at that time.
However, MOST MEN are somewhere in the middle of that during this phase
and will spend time with you, maybe even cook for you, but when asked what they are looking for, they will avoid giving any answer one way or the other, and say “Well I’m dating now but looking for wifey when that time comes.”
By giving you this answer, he has not lied to you. But he has also made it appear to the female mind that “Oh if we date long enough he’ll get on that level.”
You might not even be around or you might not even be interested in him any longer by the time he enters that phase, because he has no clue how long it will take either and after all, if he’s still in the “getting it wet” phase, he’s not really worried about when that change will happen any way.
SO if you agree to have sex with him, most men will at least respect you enough to treat you with basic respect and kindness, but at the end of the day, he will not be there to offer any support or encouragement beyond what it takes to… get it wet.
NOW WHAT ABOUT THE MAN WHO’S IN HIS “BUILD A LIFE” PHASE???
Well, he still has a desire to get it wet, but he also knows that he does not want to piss off a good woman who can build with him. So if he sees that quality in you, he’ll be real about it and let you know that his goal is to get to know you and see how you two work together as a pair.
That DOES NOT MEAN he’s ready right now. He may need some time to arrange some things, so in the meantime, if YOU are also in that build a life phase, be cautious about who you sleep with, keep things comfortable with you and the men of interest, and ALWAYS make it clear what you expect from every man you deal with.
and then ACCEPT NOTHING LESS than what you want.
But never be whiny or nag about any of it. Either he will or he won’t provide what you expect. And that’s okay honestly. It’s every one’s prerogative to give whatever they are willing to give, and if any one is forced they might later hold a grudge.
So be easy, keep your options open as well, and realize that a man “ready to build a life” will be looking for BUILDER qualities in you. So live YOUR DREAM and along the way MEN on that similar path will appear without your having to seek them. Because after all, you are walking in similar spaces.
BUT BEWARE LADIES, AGE IS NOT A DECIDING FACTOR ON WHAT PHASE HE IS IN.
I’ve known youjng and older men who were in both phases. Some men even revert back to the “get it wet” phase after a big breakup or divorce.
PAY ATTENTION TO HIS ACTIONS AND THE DIRECT STATEMENT OF HIS WORDS.
If he says, I want you to be my wife or I want to see if you and I would work as life partners, then yes he has already seen that quality in you and wants to seek it.
Someone playing games is much less likely to say that unless they have no morals whatsoever and at some point in their life, they will get cut by at least one female that they play like this.
Author: Jessica Bordelon
Passionate, powerful, & gentle, she is an artist that captures the strength , power & energy of femininity in its purest form.