In the battle to define
what is the
MY FRUSTRATION IS: that we all have needs. Let’ s keep it 100. Conversation, connection, affection, sex, etc.
If she’s the wife-type for you, she still has all these needs on a daily basis.
Yet several men say they delay giving time and attention to their “wife type of woman” because they feel they need to prepare for her first.
But If you are neglecting her needs, what makes you think she isn’t going to get her needs met somewhere else?
Did you ever stop to think about that?
You’re keeping her in what I call “starvation mode” while you prepare your silver platter for her.
People’s needs are NOW. They are ever-present and you are leaving your wife-type of woman neglected
So if you know she’s amazing, if you have access to her, if she wants to be near you… why are you
why are you leaving her neglected and open to other options?
I never understood that. And on MANY occasions, by the time the man got whatever he was working on completed, the woman is NO LONGER INTERESTED!!! I’d like to say it wasn’t a common thing for me and many other (what the world calls “good” women) but this is very common.
Man approaches because we are hot. Man realizes “Oh F*** she’s not only hot, but she’s got wife qualities.” Man backs up to “prepare” apparently for coming “correct.” Months pass and man comes correct “Hey here’s all of me.” And the woman’s response is “Yea so it looked like you were wasting my time and that’s unattractive to me. I had to start getting my needs met with someone else, and well… I’m just not into you any more.”
And man proceeds to say “See women don’t want good men.”
So let’s break it down:
Men usually say they want a woman who appreciates who they are and not what they have. But is that really true?
Tell me if I’m right on this or not: Men’s approach to a woman is based on their intention with that specific woman. .
If all he wants from a woman is sex, he’ll make it known, appeal to her ego, and see what her answer is.
“Sex only” is the short game, so a man won’t invest much effort into it.
If he wants or needs some company but isn’t ready for a relationship, he’ll call and text and meet with her on a pretty regular basis. But he’ll keep the conversation very surface level, nothing too penetrating because after all, he doesn’t want to invest past his INTENTION.
But here’s where men confuse me: when yall officially know the woman is your type for a wife, you act like you have to have the entire world poised on a silver platter before you even get started. It’s like you see your wife-type as a deep jungle of mystery and you are gathering your supplies and taking classes, reading books, BEFORE you even step foot on the path…
So that got me thinking…
Honestly, how much of a man’s self-respect is tied to what he does or does not have and less on what his character offers a woman for lifetime commitment?
Yes, when we connect in an official commitment, as a woman, I expect that my partner will share the responsibilities of our lives. That’s the point of a relationship after all; PARTNERSHIP. We share financial and children responsibilities, household, healthcare, etc.
BUT at the start of dating a person, we are not there yet. I don’t need your money. I need to know how you manage your money, if we are trying to develop a relationship. I need to know how you are GROWING your financial foundation, but I don’t need you to spend money on me.
When we are just starting out, all women really need is time with you. (REPHRASE: all quality and sound of mind women)
Stop seeing her as the jungle, but see her as A PARTNER ON THE ADVENTURE. We have to walk into this new territory with you, so…
Let’s workout together, play video games, get ice cream, get coffee, walk by the lake, teach each other something we like to do or that we are good at, etc.
But most importantly… just get to know each other. Ask random survey questions. Teach each other things. FORM A BOND.
We’ll grow into the rest of it … in time if we share time that is.
LOVE IS AN ADVENTURE. And adventures are more fun when you’ve got someone to experience it with you.
Author: Jessica Bordelon
Passionate, powerful, & gentle, she is an artist that captures the strength , power & energy of femininity in its purest form.