In the battle to define
what is the
Oh yeah, we gonna talk about it. To Share or Not to share. This post STARTS with those who do share, and that last half is dedicated to those of you in a "no share on social media" situation. Cause you need to know what that REALLY means.
There is often a debate about whether or not you should share your relationship status or photos and posts related to your relationship on Facebook or other forms of social media. Here are a few ways to determine that:
There are 3 different schools of thought related to this topic:
1. those who immediately share whatever, whenever from the beginning.
2. those who put their status up but slowly reveal info as it progresses, and
3. those who never share anything about their dating on social media,
Let’s TALK ABOUT THE EASIEST to understand: Groups 1 and 2 –
Just let them be.
These people are happy with what they have and choose their own level of disclosure. When you know what you have is solid and your proud to share it, then do it. You share what’s important to you, and if that includes your significant then do as you please, ladies and gentleman.
When someone says “it causes DRAMA,” you can respond by saying, “If what you got is weak to people on social media, it’s weak in everyday life.” Social media gets blamed for causing problems, but all it does is EXPOSE the truth quicker than it would have been otherwise.
Think about that for a second. If someone would get mad about an ex that still wants you, they’d eventually do that anyway. If they were going to cheat, they’d do that anyway. Once again, whatever social media made easier was already likely to happen at some point. So in that way social media is letting you know what you’re dealing with in advance.
NOW USE CAUTION OF COURSE... HERE’S WHAT I MEAN…
FIRST RULE, a new relationship does not need to be made public. Until it has been proven solid, sharing it means if it ends, you look like someone who goes through “lovers” quickly. This does affect your reputation and gives the impression of an untrustworthy or careless person. If you’re okay with that, then by all means, share away. OTHERWISE, wait until it is more apparent that you two will be together for a significant timeframe.
NOW FOR THE REST OF YALL WHO DO HAVE LONG TERM FRIENDSHIP OR COMMITMENT.
For instance, if you have either been close friends with the person for a long time, or have dated or have been in a commitment for more than a year Let me MAKE THIS SIMPLE…
DON'T LET YOURSELF BE FOOLED by someone who says they "don't want to share anything" about their love life on social media.
It's time to talk ABOUT GROUP 3:
WHEN LITTLE OR NOTHING IS BEING SHARED: Ask and answer ALL OF THE questions BELOW for yourself
If your significant other is not sharing you on social media, are they also hiding you in public? Are you spending holidays with their family and yours? Are you two sitting together and interacting AS LOVERS WOULD NORMALLY in public?
When this person introduces you, what “title” are you given: “This is my partner _insert name.”, girlfriend, boyfriend, lover, bae, love, baby, better half, etc. Or do you get introduced like this: ““this is my friend _insert name.”, or with no title: “this is _insert name.”,
YOU ARE TO THEM WHAT THEY CALL YOU. If they give you “no title,” then you have none. If they call you “friend,” that is all you are. However, if they give you a title to everyone they meet, then the social media presence isn't important. In other words, their lack of attention to you on social media might not mean anything.
Also, ANOTHER REASON IT MIGHT NOT MEAN ANYTHING: how often is this person on social media? What else do they share? If this is a person who doesn’t share anything more than once a week, then it’s NOT a reflection on you. They just don’t share anything there anyway, so it’s not about you.
HOWEVER, if this person SHARES EVERY THING else and comments often on social media, you have to realize what you are. You are being hidden, and it’s up to you how comfortable or uncomfortable you are with that.
AND REMEMBER THIS: you can’t receive water when you’re filled with poison. While you may not want to let go of the “half” status you have with this person, you have to remember that you can’t receive anything else when you’re connected to this situation.
IN CLOSING, if YOU are the person who chooses to share everything EXCEPT your significant other, you know you're flat out NOT SURE about whether or not this person will remain in your life. Unless you are making the kinda money that Rihanna and Pharrell make, then you can talk about how it MIGHT affect you to look single or committed.
But keep it real, that's a bogus line too, because LOTS of celebrities share their relationship statuses and their careers are NOT adversely affected. CELEB OR NOT. Rich or poor or in the middle, you aren't telling anyone you have someone,
CAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW IF YOU WANT TO KEEP THEM,
I know some of yall are about to off in response. I'm just telling you what myself and others have seen. I"m a supporter of being honest about what your relationship is. If you don't want to keep em, just let em know so they can act accordingly.
Author: Jessica Bordelon
Passionate, powerful, & gentle, she is an artist that captures the strength , power & energy of femininity in its purest form.